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Laura K.
Jul 01, 2019
In SUPPORTIVE MEMES
Therapy Dogs content media
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In DIETARY WATCHOUTS
For our guy, protein at every meal is a must and too much sugar is a no-no. At 15 years old, it's hard to get more prescriptive than that - he eats lunch off campus during the week and looks at fruit like it's a peculiar alien species. We do what we can. What foods have you found you need to avoid (or include) to help your kiddo stay on track?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me "it's probably just a phase", or "he's never acted like that at my house", or "have you thought about military school?" - I would have enough money to pay for all the psychiatrist and therapy bills! It's hard not to get frustrated with them and it's even harder not to feel understood. I still haven't not figured out the right come back for these well-meaning folks, so let us know how you've handled it
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In SCHOOL SUPPORT
We are so fortunate that in high school, we have found a very supportive school administration. We weren't as lucky in middle school - the assistant principal didn't quite roll his eyes when I explained that my son's mental illness was the underlying cause of fighting at school, but it was close. And I am still dealing with a teacher that doesn't get it, so it's never easy. I think having an IEP is crucial and meeting regularly with the administration and teachers to check in is important too. Know your rights and don't be afraid to stand up for them, even if you end up crying in the meeting because you are so frustrated (it's happened more than once). So tell us - what you have done to get the school support you need...
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In COMORMID DIAGNOSES
So I recently did a quick survey of our members (see Member Research page) and found that 60% of our kids have additional diagnoses beyond DMDD. Mine had ADD, ODD (although technically, this isn't counted as a separate diagnosis if they already have DMDD) and a bit of OCD. What rainbow of diagnoses are you dealing with?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In DR. MATTHEWS PROTOCOL
I think Dr. Matthews protocol is one of the most popular topics among our members. So did you try it? Did it work? Tell us all about it!
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In SELF CARE
This is probably one of my favorite topics. I think as parents of challenging kids, we give WAY more of ourselves than we really have. We end up exhausted, emotionally devastated and incapable of putting two sentences together. Self-care is so important, even if it's only 5 minutes. Our minds need a break, our bodies need a break, our hearts need a break. When things got really bad in the early days, I used to go in my bedroom, close the door and play solitaire on my ipad for 15 minutes. Now I use the mantra of "shelter in place" - i.e. I ask myself "what can I NOT do to make my life just a little bit easier tonight?" Can I order pizza for dinner, let the kids skip an activity for one day, put on a movie, and go take a bath? Some days, we just need to simplify everything to get through. What do you do for self-care?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In INPATIENT TREATMENT
I know we are spread far and wide at the moment, but as our numbers grow, I'm hoping members can come here to learn about positive or negative experiences with in-patient facilities. Please share what you know!
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In SMALL VICTORIES
It's been six years since my son was diagnosed and one of our biggest struggles with him now is that he's a teenager and he doesn't always take care of himself. We have practically chanted to him on a daily basis that he needs a good night sleep, regular meals and his medications in order to stay on track. He doesn't always acknowledge that and we've had some disastrous consequences when he decides to stay up late or skip a meal. He's 15 now and just starting to become self-aware, so when he walks into the kitchen in the late afternoon and says "I think I need some protein", I see a glimmer of hope that he is learning self - care. What is your small victory today?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In WHAT'S MADE IT BETTER?
That was our biggest "ah-ha" moment. We always looked it his violent mood swings as something he needed to get control over. We threatened consequences, took away privileges, all of it. Nothing worked. Then, we finally met with a therapist who explained that he really doesn't want to be a bad kid - he doesn't want to break things, he doesn't want to call us bad names and say he hates us. Once we understood this, really understood it, things began to change. I remember asking our son what it was like when he was out of control and he said "it feels like the devil takes over my brain and makes me do bad things". I cried. I never realized how awful it was for him too. Things didn't get better overnight, not by a long stretch, but it did make a huge difference to him to know that we understood that he couldn't control it. What has made it better for you?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In CBD OIL
I see this question come up on the Facebook groups on a regular basis, but never seem to get a clear picture of whether it's worked or not. We tried it for a couple weeks, but it didn't seem to help much. I also found it very confusing - so many products with different dosages and no clear guidelines. Has anyone tried it and had it work for them? Tell us about it!
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In VENT
We've all had those days where the best we can do is just cry and tell someone we just can't do it anymore. There is something about saying those words out loud that lessens our burden. Something about hearing someone else say I know, I've been there too. It'll be OK makes such a huge difference. When my son was first diagnosed, I'd never met another parent dealing with what we were dealing with and it was so hard. So please, lessen your burden - we're here to support you...
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In HOW DO YOU CALM YOUR KID?
One of the first tools we used when our DMDDer was raging was to give him a pillow that he could scream into, stomp on and punch his fist into. We wanted to acknowledge his need to scream and hit while giving him a safe way to do it. Letting him get it out of his system seemed to help. As he became less violent (but still highly irritable), we would give him an i-pad with video games on it. Something about switching his brain into something totally different seemed to help. What do you guys do to help your DMDDer calm down?
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Laura K.
Jun 28, 2019
In MEDICATIONS
Finding the right right medications can be so hard. Every kid is different and with so many co-morbid (aka co-existing) diagnoses, it's hard to get it right. It took us 3 years to find the right combination but we've been on the same meds for 3 years now and he's doing great (that's six years total). Be patient - there are lots of side effects and sometimes a higher dose makes it worse, not better. I encourage you to ask other parents what they've tried and what the side effects were, but please work with your doctor to determine what's right for your child.
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Laura K.

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